Archiv der Kategorie: Queerulant_in Ausgabe 8 (englisch)

trans*parent

an article by e.
translation by elena.

no justification, but overcoming the inability to speek.
a brave and angry description of an image (date: sometime 2014) of a self-perception as trans* and parent that i fought for
i am trans*parent
i am trans* and a parent for my kid = trans*parent
i have the urge to write about myself, because i don’t know any other people that live under the same circumstances as i do.
if i had to describe myself i would first talk about my identification process surrounding my gender identity, my body and my place within the relation to my child and my friends. Then i would add all the attributes that are self-determined, constructed, determined by others who create layers that form an image of me. a complex image. an image that i can’t describe here as a whole, which i wouldn’t want anyway but is constantly in my mind during my writing process. a confused, queer image.

trans*
do i identify as trans*gender or genderqueer? i don’t want to settle in either of those and define myself – or at least not for ever. This is one of many reasons why i have a hard time ‘coming out’. I’m afraid to be labeled with a certain role and all its clichés by my social environment (“non-returnable and no power over my identification”), to get a set place in the catalogue in their head and endure their looks full of sympathy, fear or hate.
but i also get a headache from the fear i have around people and environments, where I’m already out, because of what they could see through their transphobic glasses that they were trained to wear and that i sometimes where myself when i look at me. i have learned that people like me are ‘gross’ and a lot of other things that i don’t want to repeat here for their triggering effect.
sometimes i live in a phase of neglect, but this is impossible to keep up for a long time. sometimes ‘trans’ is part of my thoughts every second of my day to day life, as a constant roller coaster, i never stop thinking about who i am.
i sometimes go overboard with this, when i paint my whole chest with black acryl colour or when i write ‘who am I?’ on my forearms in big letters.

trans*parent
adding to that i have been a parent for more or less than a year now. the parent that brought the kid ‘to life’ – a minimising description of the work and pain that i went through.
others would call themselves ‘mom’ but i use my first name. i am very happy with my kid, who i love a lot. i am very happy with my best friend, others would say „boyfriend“, the ‘dad’ of our child, who i love a lot. i am also happy with my friends and the dog, that are part of my family and that i love a lot (this is not a hierarchy)
this being-a-parent brings some huge contradictions and conflicts to me being trans* and the perception of my body.
i experienced breastfeeding as a moment of distress, because of the gendered perspective it has in society and the (real life) gaze on my gendered body.
breastfeeding means exposing my chest (i don’t have any words for what that means for me) and an unwanted state of dependence within my family
breastfeeding is a recurring triggering moment for me because of the made up and unquestioned (and therefore almost unbreakable) connection between breasts and femininity.
Therefore i stopped breastfeeding, which is something i have to and had to justify myself for in this society all the time.
since I’m a parent a lot of people think they have the right – no even the duty – and responsability to interfere in my life

and there are so many aspects in the context of being a parent, where my perception of gender and the mainstreams perception clash. after all i also find the pre- and postnatal gender assignment of my child problematic.
do i confine my kid in ‘his’ development potential if i refer to ‘him’ according to ‘his’ assigned gender as ‘male’?
the outside world would destroy ‘him’ if i would raise ‘him’ with my understanding of gender, against the heteronormative world order. like it destroyed me.
i am walking against walls in these forced gender order.
nevertheless i sometimes find walls that i can tear down or walls that have been torn down before me or (protective) walls, that i build myself – ways, gapes and compromises.

transparent trans*parent
what i want to show the world of my self is my decision. however this decision has consequences for my kid, me and our family.
before becoming a parent i never thought i would or could or had to live ‘out’ in the open.
honestly, i can’t even imagine living openly in this society: how much pain and how little acceptance and appreciation would follow an outing. too scared of what others would think.
but i can’t live a ‘hidden’ life if i want to show my kid that i am discriminated against for no reason.
i don’t want that ‘him’ to learn that being trans* means having a secret. i don’t want to accept society’s rule through my reactions and decisions.
i want ‘him’ to understand, that what i do is a fight for him and me and us.
i want to give ‘him’ all the instruments ‘he’ needs to reflect and decide who ‘he’ is.
and yes I’m afraid that my decision (that i am also making for ‘him’) to live more in the open will have consequences that i can’t control and that could lead to ‘him’ being discriminated against or denied appreciation.
if i let my perception of the world be part of our relationship, people will eye us even more.
those coltish accusation that i have to face make me brave-angry: is it not manipulation if a kid is forced to correspond to a gender category by a fixed set of characteristics, behaviours and expectations?
i think that it would be a lot harder to explain my trans* identity to my kid if i would reinforce societies stereotypes by living a hidden life. i can’t build up a facade without risking ‘his’ love and trust in me and if i want to give ‘him’ everything ‘he’ needs to lead a self-determined life.
i can’t keep up a facade infront of the world if that means that ‘he’ would have to play along and bare the weight of societies norms with me.
so there is little choice for me other than living an open life, to be transparent. the range of this openness is something i decide together with my kid and my family.
being out means giving people a target for attack. but it also means that i fight against those who want to deny us the right to life and love and to fight for the ones that i love.
i live trans*parent.

Back to the dossier overview.

Thematic focus: Trans* and parenthood.

Translation by Kim

Preface:
After having placed a main topic in both of the last issues (Issue 6: GirlFags/GuyDykes; Issue 7: Non-relationships/relationships) we once again decided on a thematic focus: Trans* and parenthood.
Since the subject of parenthood from a queer perspective offers many starting points and points of reflection, we decided on putting the focus on the connection between trans* and parenthood. In a society structured by a binary gender system (male/female), parenthood is related to fixed (traditional) role models and expectations. Expectant or present trans*parents especially face stereotyping and discrimination, since they (may) allegedly contradict existing normative role models.
On pages 6 to 27 you will find texts dealing with the thematic focus by different authors. The texts reflect the authors’ individual perspective. Therefore, not all levels of trans* and parenthood are included in this main topic.

Back to the dossier overview.

Editorial Issue no.8: Another actual thematic focus

Translation by Kim

For issue 8 of Queerulant_in, which you are now holding in your hands or reading on a screen, we decided on the thematic focus „Trans* and parenthood“. There is plenty of room for this theme, comprising nine articles and several other contributions, such as comics.
You will find more on this starting from page 4.

Issue no. 8, which should have been published in December 2014, has once again been realized with a great deal of effort. Sadly, our capacities are limited. Additionaly, the increasing demand and in turn the larger edition of Queerulant_in also means publishing costs are higher. Therefore, once again the request to our readers: if you have any means of financial support, please help us!

You can read about our glorious tour on page 46. You will also find some pictures there.

On our homepage (see the pink circle on the right below) you will also find a recording of the different articles from previous issues of Queerulant_In. Some of the current issue’s articles have been recorded in order to reach a broader audience: blind people, people with handicaps in sight, people who do not like to read or who are unable to, who would like to listen to Queerulant_In on the go. You will find the recorded texts as well as the audio recording from the tour (either right now or in the near future) on our homepage.

Another innovation, which is for now available only for two texts, are small summary boxes. These are meant to provide a quick overview and a short summary of the article’s content in simple language.

For feedback, requests for critiques, to have a feature written, to get autographs, readings or any other requests as well as harsh criticisms please refer to kontakt@queerulantin.de – also if you want to write an own piece. Deadline for issue No. 9 will be the 1st of November. You may also send us announcements or digital posters and flyers for queerfeminist and/or trans* events or other emancipatory events between March and December 2016.

Be fluffy (if you want to)!

Information on readibility and the glossary:
Words marked with a „dot“ are explained in the glossary (No Link yet). The respective words are only marked when they first appear in an article.

Back to the dossier overview.

Dossier: Issue 8 – Trans* and parent(ship) in English

Queerulant_in, a magazine for queer politics and praxis – now in English (at least in parts)!

Maybe you all know already about Queerulant_in. However, maybe you’ve just stumbled over this site, while searching for an English text on queer. In this case, here is a short explanation:

Queerulant_in is a german-speaking, political, non-commercial (i.e. free of charge) magazine, distributed all over Germany, Austria and Switzerland. It is run collectively by volunteers and everyone who feels like it can partake. Either by sending in Texts, comics, suggestions on improvements, by helping correcting texts or helping to organize/realize the next issue.
We bring out one to three issues per year. The latest issue (number 8) had the main topic “Trans* and Parent(ship)”. We try to translate as many texts as possible into other languages, to reduce the barriers for our readers. Since, sadly, we don’t have the funds to print Queerulant_in in other languages as well, we are uploading the English texts on our website. We collect them here in form of a Dossier for a clear overview.

If you don’t know Queerulant_in yet , we want to introduce you about our self-conception.: Because when we talk and write about queer politics and praxis, it is important for us to add a short self-conception. For us, queer is a process, an attitude, a concern, an Identity. Queer can be everything – just not apolitical. Queer can start with your gender identity or with non-heteronormative desires, but it carries on, all the way to the radical, critical questioning of all norms.
Thus, it is important for us to constantly note and discover further power-structures, aiming towards breaking these open and abolish them. Hence, we are against forms of racism, classism, ableism, antsemitism, antiromanyism, islamophobia etc. We want to give voice to marginalized people whose lives are queer.

To keep things simple, we also have introduced a Glossar. It is important for us to be intersectional, to keep in mind and highlight entangled power-structures and -relations. We want to contribute to the development and the upkeeping of a (queer) community. And we hope we did and further can with the following Texts in English – Have fun rummaging through Queerulant_in in English!

Queerulant_in ist ein Magazin für queere Politiken und Praxen – jetzt auch (teilweise) auf Englisch!

Vielleicht kennt ihr Queeulant_in schon, vielleicht seid ihr aber auch zum ersten Mal über diesen Text gestolpert, als ihr nach einer englischen Webseite gesucht habt. Für diesen Fall, hier eine kleine Erklärung:

Queerulant_in ist ein deutschsprachiges, politisches, unkommerzielles (also kostenloses) Magazin, das im ganzen deutschsprachigen Raum ausliegt. Es wird von einem Kollektiv ehrenamtlich betrieben und jede Person, die*r Lust hat, kann mitmachen. Entweder durch das Einsenden von Texten, Comics und Verbesserungsvorschlägen, oder durch Korrekturlesen und organisatorische Beteiligung.
Pro Jahr kommen ein bis drei Ausgaben heraus. Die letzte Ausgabe (Nummer acht) hatte das Schwerpunktthema „Trans* und Elternschaft“. Wir versuchen so viele Texte wie möglich in andere Sprachen zu übersetzen, um die Barrieren für unsere Leser*innen weiter abzubauen. Da wir leider nicht die Mittel haben, Queerulant_in noch zusätzlich in anderen Sprachen zu drucken, werden die Übersetzungen ins Englische nach und nach auf der Webseite ergänzt, hochgeladen und hier gesammelt. Um euch einen einfachen Überblick zu verschaffen, seht ihr im Folgenden das Dossier unserer englischen Texte für die achte Ausgabe.

Für den Fall,dass ihr Queerulant_in noch nicht kennt, findet ihr im Folgenden eine Zusammenfassung unseres Selbstverständnisses: Denn wenn wir über queere Politik und Praxis reden, ist es uns wichtig ein kleines Selbstverständnis beizulegen. Für uns ist queer ein Prozess, eine Einstellung, eine Tatsache, eine Identität. Queer kann alles sein – nur nicht unpolitisch. Es kann bei Geschlechtsidentität und von Heteronormativität abweichendem Begehren beginnen, geht jedoch weiter bis ins radikale Hinterfragen aller Normen.
Deshalb ist queer für uns ein ständiges Mitdenken und Entdecken von Machtstrukturen, mit dem Ziel diese aufzubrechen und abzuschaffen. Wir sind deshalb kritisch gegenüber Rassismus, Klassismus, Ableism, Antisemitismus, Antiziganismus, Islamfeindlichkeit und vieles mehr. Wir wollen marginalisierte Menschen zu Wort kommen lassen, deren Lebensrealitäten queer sind.

Um alles verständlich zu halten, haben wir auch ein Glossar eingerichtet. Uns ist es wichtig intersektional zu sein, also auch auf miteinander verschränkte Machtverhältnisse hinzuweisen. Wir möchten zur Community-Bildung und -Pflege beitragen. In diesem Sinne, hoffen wir mit den folgenden Texten einen Beitrag hierzu zuleisten – Viel Spaß dabei, Queerulant_in auf Englisch durchzustöbern!

1. Einleitung / Editorial.
Translation by Kim.
Link: Here.

2. Vor_Wort* zum Schwerpunkt / Preface on thematic focus.
Translation by Kim.
Link: Here.

thematic focus: Trans* and parenthood.

3. Die Quadratur des Bauches – wie du als Mann schwanger wirst, bist, warst und gewesen sein wirst.
Iko Prinz.
Link: No Translation available.

4. Die Bilderbuchs.
Tsepo Bollwinkel.
Link: No Translation available

5. Wie wachsen Trans*-Teens in Sachsen-Anhalt auf?
Katharina.
Link: No Translation available.

6. trans*parent
e.
Translation by Elena.
Link: Here.

7. “Andere Leute denken das vielleicht anders…”/”Other people might think differently about this…”
Joke Janssen.
Translation by femmateurin.
Link: Here.

8. Trans*sein und die eigenen Kinder.
Asta Dittes.
Translation by
Link: Not yet available.

9. Schleifen in der Zunge.
Nicole von Horst.
Translation by
Link: Not yet available.

10. Menschen, Mythen, MuttIationen – Ein Abgesang (engl.)
als menschverkleidet.
Translation by bleistiftrebellx
Link: Here.

Interviews and more

11. Mein Leben in der Kommune. / My life in a commune
Alicia.
Translation by Jonah Evers
Link: Here.

12. Ich habe die Zurückweisung überwunden.
Corinne.
Translation by
Link: Not yet available.

13. Interview mit Fembooks.
Rene.
Translation by
Link: No Translation available

14. “If I were a boy”: Young Queers in US-Television
Steffi Achilles.
Translation by Elena.
Link: Here.

15. Shabbat Shalom!
Paul Kalt.
Translation by
Link: Here.

Kolumnen. Columns

16. Ezras Advide-Kolumne.
Translation by Jonah Evers.
Link: Here.

17. Trans*- und Tanzkolumne. / Wortbahnhof’s trans* and dance column
Wortbahnhof.
Translation by femmateurin.
Link: Here.

Rezensionen. Reviews:

18. Lifeworlds beyond labels / “Lebenswelten aller Kategorien” zum Buch “Mind the Gap” von Marie-Christina Latsch.
Rezension: Claudia Frenkel
Translation by Raptor-Femme.
Link: Here.

19. How Lotta was born (Review) / “Wie Lotta geboren wurde” zum gleichnamigen Buch von Ka Schmitz und Cai Schmitz-Weicht.
Rezension: Mara Otterbein
Translation by: femmateurin
Link: Here.

20. Glossar. Glossary.
Translation by Kim.
Link: Here.